We have brought you 10 responses on what sexual life holds for you after having a baby.
While people would come around to tell you about the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, body pains and enormous feeding ahead of you after having a baby, few or none would tell you what s*x would become for you for a while.
Even though it’s recommended that moms wait for about six weeks after giving birth before having s*x, research shows that a lot of people never waited for the body to get completely healed.
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It’s somewhat tough to enjoy s*x while recovering from childbirth with more energy on caring for the baby.
However, experiences are never the same.
To find out what s*x after a baby is really like, 10 moms were asked to share their experiences.
Below are 10 experiences of post-birth life shared by the moms as compiled by Huffpost and assessed by SurgeZirc NG.
1. Natural lubrication might be sorely lacking.
“S*x after baby felt a little uncomfortable. Once my doctor cleared me for sexual activity, I wasn’t afraid to jump back into doing it. But when I did, it felt a little different physically. It wasn’t bad nor painful — it was just different. Over time, I started pinpointing some of the differences. For instance, it was drier down there. It took a little more bells and whistles — aka foreplay — for any kind of natural lubrication to develop.” — Chelsie Washington, host of the “Weird Mom” podcast
2. It’s not unusual for s*x to be painful, at least at first. But it gets better with time.
“It hurts! As much as I thought I was prepared, I wasn’t. After having a vaginal birth back to back — my children are almost 12 months apart — things just weren’t the same down there. Positions that once were comfortable and enjoyable ended up resulting in pain. I had to learn to be patient and so did my husband. On the bright side, it does get much, much better.” — Tonya Gooch Mann, @thepostpartumeffect on Instagram
3. Just because you had a C-section doesn’t mean you can jump back in the sack quickly — or that you’ll want to.
“Most people know that you can’t do heavy lifting or work out as a C-section mama. But you will also need to be cleared for s*x after about six to eight weeks to allow your abdomen to heal. I had very little desire for sex. My body was healing from major surgery and I was also caring for a newborn. Those things combined made s*x the absolute last thing on my list to do! I was just exhausted all the time.” — Melissa Campos, @mommothermama on Instagram
4. Sex toys will become your new best friends.
“My wife had two rough pregnancies and halfway through the first one we lost our daughter. When my wife was four months pregnant with our second baby, we decided to open our home to foster in hopes of adoption. Faster than we expected, we got a call that a baby girl needed a home and we were quickly parents to our now-daughter. Our son was born five months later. It was basically as if we’d had twins, with the babies being within six months of each other.
We were in survival mode and s*x was the last thing we had effort for. Thank goodness for vibrators, though! We had a standing automatic order on Amazon for batteries, and whenever my wife needed an orgasm, I’d run to the nightstand and break out that hardware.” — Nic R., @lezzimomof2 on Twitter and co-host of the “Redefining the Rainbow” podcast
5. Breastfeeding can make you feel ‘touched out.’
“I felt 100% unsexy for way more than six weeks after giving birth. This was mostly due to the physical toll that breastfeeding took on my body. I literally felt like a cow and the last thing I wanted was someone else touching my body. Luckily, I have a secure and compassionate partner who was supportive of me and never pressured me to go beyond my comfort zone. Through good communication, we found new ways to be intimate.” — Gina McMillen, illustrator at @ginsasdrawingclub
“I literally felt like a cow and the last thing I wanted was someone else touching my body.”
– GINA MCMILLEN, ILLUSTRATOR AT @GINSASDRAWINGCLUB
6. If you have s*x while nursing, you’ll probably leak milk.
“When you’re sexually stimulated, your milk will let down. This can be dripping to full-on hydrant stream to your partner’s face. You’ve got to get used to even more fluids than you were before.” — Katie Brunelle, @katiezoeb on Twitter and co-host of the “Redefining the Rainbow” podcast
7. Boob play might be off the table for a while.
“It was crazy how much I missed her boobs. While she was breastfeeding, the boobs were off limits and I didn’t realize how much I’d actually miss them.” — Nic R.
8. In some ways, s*x may actually be better after sharing this bonding experience with your partner.
“I was expecting s*x after baby to be really blah. But after having been through something so intense with my husband, lovemaking feels more passionate and intentional. Our baby sleeps in our bed, so we have to get creative on where we have s*x. It feels naughty and fun to have sex in different places in our house that we normally wouldn’t! I also noticed that after having a vaginal birth, now certain positions feel better. That’s something I definitely didn’t expect after a baby.” — Lina Forrestal, motherhood blogger and host of “The New Mamas Podcast”
“After having been through something so intense with my husband, lovemaking feels more passionate and intentional.”
– LINA FORRESTAL, BLOGGER AND HOST OF “THE NEW MAMAS PODCAST”
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9. When you’re short on downtime, you learn to embrace the quickie.
“I typically like to be wined and dined to get in the mood. I enjoy romantic play and everything that leads up to s*x itself. With a newborn, however, timing was very unpredictable. If I waited around for the perfect moment to get in the mood, then it might never happen at all.” — McMillen
10. Don’t beat yourself up over a dry spell. Remember this is temporary.
“You get to say ‘no’ to s*x. We love our partners and we want everyone happy and fulfilled, but if your body is still in recovery (from pushing an entire human out of it) or you’re tired, or your drive is just hard to muster, let s*x slide for a little bit. Things will get better and more back to normal. In the meantime, normalize solo s*x in your relationship.” — Brunelle
